Why...?

Some people may wonder why do I aspire to become a K-Pop idol. Why not a V-Pop idol or something else a little bit more realistic. Don't need to remind me that I can't sing well or that I don't look as beautiful as Im Yoona or Bae Suzy. I'm just a fourteen year old girl, about to turn fifteen who just wishes she could do something she actually wanted to. I'm someone who grew up as an only child while living with my parents and my mom's sister and brother, aka my aunt and uncle. There was nothing wrong with that I believe. We constantly had family fights and a daily dose of bickering from my mom or my aunt. But something was strange, my family isn't like your typical Asian family whose parents always pressure the child into studying and graduating with a 4.0 GPA or higher and get a high distinction, but not only that, but also be accepted into an Ivy League and pursue a job of various medical, political, etc. My family was quite different. We're strong in our faith, so much that the only option in our future it seemed was to become a priest or a religion sister. Even though I'm the youngest of five cousins in our close extended family, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. My oldest cousin had ambitions and dreams, but of course his parents only wanted him to join the Seminary. He left the family for awhile, still receiving negative remarks from my aunt (not his mother) from time to time. Sure, it was bad he went to foster home and other things like that. He pursued acting, modeling, etc, but he's currently doing a very different job. He's finally studying and trying to work out things on his own, but what does that get him? More negative responses. He just wants support and I understand, because that's what I wish for, too. All five of us lived in an family environment that supported the idea of religious life, but had a decrease of support when it came to marriage. I mean, they're both sacraments! What I just wanted in my life was support. Support for me whenever I needed. I wanted to hear the critique they had to say, but not in the form of more bickering, snickering, and the occasional Vietnamese swear word. So back to my original question, why do I want to become a K-Pop idol? It's because it's the thing that still motivates me. Every time I practice the piano or organ, I have to keep reminding myself that it will help me for my journey of life. Korean entertainment gives me joy when I'm feeling down and want to cry. I want to listen to "Baby Don't Cry" by EXO every time I'm on the verge of tears. Of course I can't be perfect, but I want to be acknowledged for my skills. Not to be critiqued about the smallest mistake the size of an atom. I do love my family, especially my parents for giving me life. I just wish they all would understand that becoming a K-Pop idol isn't just something I stupidly want to do, it's something that I want to able to say I've accomplished one day. To be able to inspire those similar in my shoes today. To stop being a coward who is too afraid to speak their mind, but becoming someone who is strong enough to speak out my ideas, beliefs, and wants.